From LA LA to Utah

Relationship, weight loss, and pop culture podcast.

Chris and Dar found each other online at age 46. It was not love at first sight, but it was friendship that kept things moving forward. Now married, this channel provides a place for them to share their journey with their friends, family, and those who relate to their experiences. They talk about finding love later in life, weight loss, the desire to move abroad, as well as pop culture topics and anything else that's on their mind.

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From LA LA to Utah

Episode 1 - Introductions

June 04, 2026 • FromLALAtoUtah • Season 1 • Episode 1

0:00 | 39:51

Welcome to the first episode of From LA LA to Utah! Chris and Dar will introduce themselves and share the story of how they met.

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Introductions

Chris 0:10

Hello, welcome to From LA LA to Utah. I'm Chris. I grew up in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles.

Dar 0:16

Hi, I'm Dar. I've lived in the Southern Utah area my entire life. We met online in 2018, we got married in 2021, and now here we are, launching our first episode of From LA LA to Utah together. We're so glad that you're joining us here.

Chris 0:31

In today's episode, we want to introduce ourselves. We're going to share the story of how we met, what's happening in our lives now, and also compare some things we thought were strange when we first got together, especially the difference between Utah and Los Angeles. And we will give some advice to someone seeking a little bit of help with their relationship. But first we should probably share the story of how we met.

Dar 0:55

Yeah, totally. So, Chris, paint the picture what was going on in your life before you put that profile online.

Chris 1:02

Well, I was living in Las Vegas after growing up in Southern California, working as a customer service manager for Airbnb Corporate. Uh detour for my life from journalism and PR. I came off a failed first marriage where it seemed like we came together because things clicked, but they didn't. A lot of you have been there. But there's never any regrets because of two great kids. And then after that, I had a two-year relationship that didn't click for other reasons. So after that, as far as love went, I gave up on the concept, I used to listen to in my bedroom growing up. Uh where Martin Gore of Depeche Mode sang about somebody to share the rest of your life, share your most intimate thoughts, your most intimate details. Yeah, but I won't sing too much. But but like the uh opening of the Brady Bunch, uh, where you hear uh Mike Brady talk about being all alone. I was all alone. So I still created a dating profile on the website Plenty of Fish.

Dar 2:12

Yeah.

Chris 2:13

Um so yeah.

Dar 2:15

Can you can you read that profile?

Chris 2:18

I actually do have the profile.

Chris and Dar 2:19

And Lottie's gonna join us every now and then. Our cat. Um you're gonna see our cat who's uh basically uh coming and going.

Dar 2:28

She wants to be a part of it. She's a good helper.

Chris 2:30

Yeah.

Chris and Dar 2:31

So it was called, I have it right here, "Tall Teddy Bear for Hugs". I'm going to read it verbatim. Yes. Keep in mind. This is 2017. This is 2017, probably. Yeah.

Chris 2:44

Ever feel like you're a romantic living in a non-romantic world? Are you a big kid who thinks it's a crime to be serious all the time? Do you sometimes open up the Las Vegas Weekly and say, let's go see that yet also believe in once in a while vegging out to Netflix, the game on the tube, or a video game? Do you sometimes want to go out in the middle of the desert on a warm night just to look at the stars or see the majesty of nature's wonders by day? That's pretty much me in a nutshell. Though at six foot five, good luck fitting me within the shell of a nut. ENFP on the personality scale (Myers Briggs, right?) totally into that back then. Yeah, so I'm uh any INTJ or INFJ out there? It sounds like blood type. After a broken up marriage and a broken up two-year relationship, I'm mainly in the mode right now of just striking up conversations on here and trying to break out of the cycle of expecting perfect love and just enjoy talking to new people. New people. I sound like I said nude people for a second. That is a Vegas term, but no. Um But I would like to just break the ice with the start of a friendly conversation and friendship. Who knows where that might lead? At the very least, a beautiful friendship. My interests are news, politics, sports, and sci-fi.

Dar 4:03

See, and when I heard that or when I read that, I'm like, oh, I love how this guy expresses himself. Like he he must be a writer. He has a way of turning a phrase. And so I could I felt like I could it was approachable. I could, I could sign up for for friendship, right? Um, you weren't putting a lot of pressure, it seemed very casual. So yeah, I I liked your profile. I thought it was good.

Chris 4:24

Yeah. So what was your life like at this time? It's 2017. Tell me about your life in 2017.

Dar 4:29

Yeah, so I was teaching sixth and seventh grade at an intermediate school near my house. Um, I was living with my sister in a house that we purchased together. Um, I had four nephews that I was spoiling rotten, as good aunties should. And I had three cats, I had a great job, amazing friends, all my family kind of lived nearby, even extended family, and I had a great life. Um, but I was still lonely. You know, I I didn't have that other You were all Yeah, yeah. And so I a funny thing, I had found Çalıkuşu which is Love Bird.

Chris 5:04

It's a sounds like an Italian dish.

Dar 5:06

It is not. It is a Turkish drama that I found on Netflix, and I just fell down this rabbit hole of, What is this culture? and These are amazing! and I loved all these Turkish dramas, and so I started watching Fatmagül'ün Suçu Ne? and like What was Fatmagül's Fault?, and like Kara Sevda, and all of these shows that I'm like, I need to go visit this place, and so I actually even planned a trip to Istanbul for December of 2017. I I never made it for many, many reasons, but I did get on the airplane. I'll save that story for another day. Um, but uh in hindsight, what I was looking for was you. You were missing. I know, I know.

Chris and Dar 5:49

But do you do you want to hear mine? Yet I'm not a Turkish um burly man, but I'll tell you what, you're not gonna get off scot-free. I had to read this.

Dar 5:58

Okay, I'll read mine. I have it here. I printed it out. Okay, so mine is called "Sweet and Sincere Nerd Looking for Match". I am honest and genuine, I enjoy meaningful conversation, I'm a nerd well-versed in Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, etc. My personality type is I N F J, so one of the two that you mentioned, right? I've never been married and have no kids. I love singing, traveling, and learning new things. I'm currently learning Turkish. I like to stream online entertainment, go to the movies, have friends over for dinner, and being a rock star auntie. I like when my date is confident but not arrogant, can make me laugh, is well mannered, kind, and has a wide range of interests. I've lived in Utah my whole life, but I'm interested in travel and experiencing other cultures. I grew up LDS, but now choose not to participate in any organized religion. I believe in being kind to others and in the power of good people. I have a live and let live perspective. Please message me if you think you would be a good match, and I'll reply if I sense there's chemistry too. If I don't reply, please don't take it personally. It just means we're probably not a good fit, and I wish you well in your search. Also, please be a real person, genuinely interested in relationships. (Are you as tired of fake profiles as I am?) Interests are singing, traveling, animals, and learning new things.

Chris 7:28

So, speaking of learning new things, we always have to learn, and you should too, about how to catch your breath. So we're gonna do that now. We'll be back in a second with more of From LA LA to U tah.

Who made the first move?

Chris 7:38

So we're back, and after that uh that profile, um who messaged who first?

Dar 7:50

I I think you sent me a clip, a video clip.

Chris 7:55

Oh no.

Dar 7:56

Okay, so you remember the one that it was?

Chris 7:58

Yeah. Um, so I'm gonna so she mentioned in her profile.

Dar 8:03

Yeah.

Chris 8:04

Turkey, not the lunch meat.

Dar 8:06

Learning Turkish.

Chris 8:07

Learning Turkish and her love of sci-fi, like me.

Dar 8:10

Totally, yeah.

Chris 8:11

And so I sent her a video. The video was Turkish Star Wars. It's a real thing.

Chris and Dar 8:17

It's a real thing. Look it up, find it on YouTube.

Dar 8:20

And so it it it's rough.

Chris and Dar 8:22

Did it traumatize you? It was jarring. I'll say it was jarring, but what it did tell me is this guy has a sense of humor. He paid attention to my profile, he he knew Star Wars enough, and I I knew your handle too. Your handle and my handle...

Dar 8:37

People made Turkish Star Wars didn't, but yeah. No, no, no. But I mean, I knew that you would probably have a background in geeky things like so we would have things to talk about.

Chris 8:45

Yeah.

Dar 8:46

So it felt it was a good first move. I'll say that.

Chris 8:50

So we uh at the same time, you know how they say, like, uh, you know, don't try us at home. I would suggest people not try Turkish Star Wars at home as a dating tool. Just use it if if you think it'll work, go for it. Um yeah, so we started, but we started talking. It was a good icebreaker.

Chris and Dar 9:10

It was a good icebreaker, yeah. And we just started talking back and forth, texting, and we'd be like, Well, why do guys do this? And why do girls do that? And it was just we had a good conversation. We became friends, really. And and we never met until No. Um It was, I want to say it was in the end of May, maybe. Um, you said, Hey, I'm gonna go to this thing. Do you want to meet me? And it was a protest in Vegas. And I'm like, Yeah, I can meet you in a public place, I can meet you at a protest because at the time things were ugly at the border and families were being separated.

Chris 9:43

And we sound like an episode of Family Ties, you know, where where the parents go in the 60s and they have big hair. No, I had normal hair. I had I did have in high school, and we'll show you sometime, I did have a uh a mullet... It was the look at the time. Yeah. Um Yeah, but you agreed to come.

Dar 9:59

I did. I met you in Vegas and we agreed to meet at Hash House A Go Go and you kept me waiting so long. Part of it was my fault, though. Part of it I got there an hour early because I didn't adjust for the time difference from Mountain Standard Time to Pacific. So I got there kind of an hour early. So that was on me. No. But then I waited for another hour after that because why? Do you remember why?

Chris 10:24

Well, I'll tell you, in high school and college, because I'm a very deep sleeper, I used to have alarm clocks on both sides of my bed, and they'd both go off and so I still had that at that point. bause I'm a very deep s to have alarm clocks on both ides of my ed. And e And so I still d;yhad that at that pffo og htob d'yeht dnAoint.

Dar 10:37

Um hm. But you were working ...

Chris 10:39

I was working. I mean, I was doing the, you know, I was, you know. You're being a manager but also I did some extra Lyft driving at night to get some extra money.

Dar 10:50

Um so you're probably sleep deprived. Yeah. And slept through three alarms.

Chris 10:56

Living the Vegas lifestyle. Yeah. Um, but people don't get up in the morning.

Dar 10:59

But you were texting, and you're like, please don't leave, please don't leave, I'll buy you whatever you want from the menu. And that could have been a turning point. That could have been like, uh, he's you know, this is a red flag. But I waited, and when you got there, it was just so easy. Our conversation j ust continued the way that it had been, like texting back and forth.

Chris 11:18

That's it's such a key. I mean, people don't realize the importance of conversation. Um, what is the secret to a long relationship, a long marriage? It's communication, and it's not just you communicate it's the fact that yeah, I can we can talk to each other.

Dar 11:33

Yeah.

Chris 11:34

Um we'll talk about this in a second, but I mean, so we're we're at the protest, we're just going along. Yeah. There is a point where I I don't know who made the right first move or whatever, but there was a first kiss, yeah.

Dar 11:47

There was a first kiss.

Chris 11:48

And it was the most amazing kiss, a kiss to end all kisses.

Dar 11:53

I I you're remembering it slightly differently than I am.

Chris 11:56

No, I'm not remembering, I was trying not to remember it.

Dar 11:58

It was not the Princess Bride kiss to end all kisses, but it was a first start in me going, oh, this guy's serious, and I I really like him back.

Chris 12:09

You're being generous. I I you you you I use too much tongue.

Dar 12:12

Stop!

Chris 12:13

And yeah.

Dar 12:15

It was it was aggressive, I'll say a little too aggressive. And so part of our conversation after that was, how do you like to be kissed? Right? Here's you know, and we watched Friends episodes, and I'm like, oh, well, this is a romantic movie kiss, and so we had some, you know, homework to do.

Chris 12:32

You know, but you know, she went back to to uh to St. George and I, you know, we still kept talking all the time.

Dar 12:39

I mean Well, but you forget that that first night. We were walking, and I was wearing sandals, and my feet got so hot from being on the hot pavement in sandals that we went to the New York, New York, and we were just kind of talking and walking, and by that time my feet were just like, I I need to take a seat. So we found this really cute corner of the New York, New York, and a couch in the lounge, and we could just listen to music and talk, and and you sat in the corner with your arm along the back of the couch, and I kind of sat up against you, and I'm like, wow, this feels really nice. This is it felt good. Like it felt like we fit. Yeah, it did. We fit.

Chris 13:15

Um and that's what I mean, it it's like two it's two Lego pieces, two Duplo pieces if you want to go back to your real young years. Um and it it's the word click. It's like if you click, you click. If you don't click, if the two pieces don't fit together, you know, don't put a ring on it.

Dar 13:33

So then I went back to St. George, and then our first "official" date was June 10th.

Chris 13:40

Um, it's funny, I mean, I I go to St. George, yeah, and no offense to people in Utah, but the vision of what St. George was to me and anybody in Vegas or go even further to California or whatever, is basically probably um dirt roads, um very rural, pastoral. Very rural, pastoral, no stores, no restaurants except for one general store.

Dar 14:03

Because you had never been to Utah at all.

Chris 14:05

Lik e and suddenly I I get here, yeah, and I think right away it looked to me like Main Street from Disneyland and the Frontier Land from Disneyland.

Dar 14:14

Yeah, you fell in love right away with the scenery and how beautiful it is.

Chris 14:17

Yeah, and in love with the person who was here.

Dar 14:18

Aww. Yeah. But it was it caught you off guard.

Chris 14:21

June 10th, 2018 was the day.

Dar 14:23

June 10th, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was our first official date. Um, and we had planned to see a movie, but before the movie, you said, why don't you find a place to eat? Let's get some food before, and so I chose Panda Garden. And so we went to Panda Garden and you were so nervous. I could tell that you were nervous. And do you remember what I said to you?

Chris and Dar 14:44

Uh I said, just be yourself. And that's enough for me.

Chris 14:48

Oh god, that meant so much. Because I was yeah. In I guess a red flag for guys or for women, is if you can't be yourself. And so uh every relationship, my marriage, I was not able to be myself. It's like I felt embarrassed to be myself, to talk about things for myself. Um and that just put me at ease. Um that's the moment where I think and there's Lottie.

Dar 15:14

Hi, Lottie.

Chris 15:15

Yeah, I think it became it went even in my head, like, oh boy, this is this is great. This is this is what I've always wanted. This is the Martin Gore, this is the Depeche Mode song. This is Somebody.

Dar 15:25

Well, and that's the thing. Like, that's what I wanted too. I wanted that deep connection, that soul connection, and that comfort level. Um, but I also thought I'm not gonna be fake and because either we're gonna make it or break it based on who we authentically are. Because I can't, I'm I can't fake things. I've I've I have such, you know, I can't hide how I'm feeling. And I don't want to be fake for a whole relationship. Are you kidding? Like, I don't want to start off on the wrong foot. So I gave you permission to be yourself because I wanted to give myself permission to be myself too. Um so yeah, that's

Chris 15:57

and I mean, so.

Dar 16:00

Do you remember the

Chris 16:01

And then that night, uh well here's the thing about being yourself, we what we go to the movie, the first movie we see is Solo.

Dar 16:07

Solo, which is not our favorite Star Wars movie, but it's okay. It was fun.

Chris 16:11

But it was a Star Wars movie.

Chris and Dar 16:12

And you're eating popcorn and you're eating and you're taking huge handfuls, so, I'm being myself, and some of it some of it's landing in your mouth, but a lot of it is on your clothing and all all over the floor. Yeah. And I'm like, what is this? What's happening? Because I'm so self-conscious. Like I never want to draw attention to myself. And so, yeah, that was kind of like, wow, what what did I get myself into? Um, since, you know, now we make a competition of it, like whoever has the least kernels on the floor gets to

Chris 16:40

Which is a Reed family thing. If you make anything competition, and I was

Dar 16:44

you want to win that competition, yeah. Yeah. But you you know, after the movie, we came back to my house and we played cards with um my sister and my nephew, and you just you were so kind and warm and just so easy to be around. And I thought that it was just a really fun night, and you just fit right in with the group. And so then when I walked you out to the car and you gave me probably the best hug I've ever had in my life, just I felt so comfortable. But in my head, I'm like, is this love? Is this friendship?

Chris 17:17

I'm still in the friend zone, which is the story of my life, really, for high school and college.

Dar 17:22

And and to be fair, like we were texting back and forth after the date, and we're like, What did you think and how did you feel? And and I said, I still think you're in the friend zone, but you know, but I really enjoyed my time with you, and but still conversations, we got together a few more times, and suddenly by August, yeah, we're Facebook official. We're Facebook official, yeah, that's true.

Chris 17:43

And and it it it's weird because in my head it feels like it was a little, you know, a courtship. There's the thing is there's no one size fits all.

Dar 17:52

No, there's not.

Chris 17:53

Um if if someone says, you know, we got engaged after a few weeks, if it works, great. Um if they need years to be engaged or never marry at all, but stay together, fine. I mean it's each or but the ultimate thing, I think it's a commonality, is we became best friends. We did right away.

Dar 18:15

Yeah.

Chris 18:15

And if you cannot call the person you're with your best friend, don't put a ring on it. That's that's my Beyoncé advice to you.

Dar 18:24

Yeah.

Chris 18:25

Um, but you know, we're gonna talk about our engagement and oh, a bunch of relationship in later episodes. Yeah, but for now, we're we're gonna take a break. So myself, Dar, and Lottie will be back

Best Friends Having Fun

Chris 18:35

with you.

Dar 18:37

So welcome back. Um, before we left, uh we you had just mentioned, you know, best friends. So what I just want to clarify, what does that look like? We all have, you know, co-workers, acquaintances, friends, but I think you and I both really wanted our our partner to be our best friend. And really, what does that mean?

Chris 18:57

Let me tell you what best friend is to me.

Dar 18:58

Yeah.

Chris and Dar 18:58

I I just think it's you know, there are many times in even past relationships, I felt embarrassing to say, oh, I love this comic book or sci-fi thing or or or just you don't have that here.

Dar 19:12

Like we all we like a lot of the same things.

Chris 19:16

And to me, it's when you feel so comfortable you can talk about anything. Right. And not worry about being judged, especially. And you know, when you have um ADHD like I do, yeah.

Dar 19:25

And anxiety like I do.

Chris and Dar 19:28

You it's hard to deal with that kind of um not being able to be yourself. Like judgment. And judgment.

Dar 19:35

I think you take it personally, especially if you have an ADD brain.

Chris 19:38

Yeah.

Dar 19:39

It's there's a sensitivity there, I think. Um, but luckily, we both like Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, like all the sci-fi stuff. You don't have to choose a side. We love it all here.

Chris 19:49

Yeah.

Dar 19:50

Um, but I got you into Friends.

Chris and Dar 19:52

You did. So, I mean, the thing is when I, you know, when Friends was on, Must See TV Thursday, right? But this is gonna date us a little bit, but you know, um Thursday nights, um, I was usually working um as uh cop as an copy editor or copy editor, assistant editor of a newspaper. Um, and so you in those days you can only set a VCR to record one thing. Yeah. And Deep Space Nine and I was on at the same time, so I avoided the show Friends.

Dar 20:20

Yep. Um But I got you hooked on Friends, and it's my guilty pleasure series. Like I just love it.

Chris and Dar 20:28

We gotta do we are gonna do an episode on the guilty pleasure sometime at some point. Yeah, it's we should yeah, but it's not even guilty. Friends is just amazing.

Dar 20:34

I just love it. It's like I put it on to have good ambiance in the background, like while I'm you know doing things around the house, or you know, I could quote a lot of different episodes.

Chris 20:42

So part of the thing is we love we love talking about sci-fi and pop culture.

Chris and Dar 20:46

Oh yeah. We stream a lot. To be fair, we watch a lot of movies, we watch a lot of TV, we stream, we play video games. We're super, we take those very seriously. But right now we're obsessed with The Pitt. We love The Pitt. Um and Stranger Things, Hawkins, Middle School A V Club, right? Superman, this is Darth Vader, yeah, uh we got all the fan gear stuff.

Chris 21:08

Yeah, you know how excited are we that Ted Lasso's coming back?

Dar 21:12

Oh, I love Ted Lasso.

Chris and Dar 21:14

And Shrinking, like anything that Brett Goldstein is in and British, though it's funny because I my my dad was born Newbridge, Wales, lived up until his 20s in the United Kingdom, and I am a partial British citizen for that reason. Um I can come and go to the British Isles as I please, I can run for Parliament, and I'm really waiting for King George, uh King Charles. Did I say King George? Boy, that goes back some. Welcome, America 250. Um, to to make me Sir Christopher Reed.

Dar 21:47

Okay. Um I'd be okay with that if you had a title.

Chris 21:50

Yeah. So I mean, you were watching things like Vicar of Dibley.

Dar 21:54

I love Vicar of Dibley, Great British Bake Off, um, The F Word with Gordon Ramsay. Which is a cooking show, people. But he does drop the F-bomb, but The Doghouse. Yeah. Oh, I love The Dog House.

Chris 22:06

If you want, if you're ever in a bad mood, and you ha I don't know if I don't even think it's on YouTube. We have ways of watching British programs. Right.

Dar 22:13

I love if you're ever in a bad mood, The Doghouse pulls you out. You love The Chase.

Chris 22:18

The Chase. Chasuh. Taskmaster. You Dar for my birthday, it was the coolest thing ever. She created the surprise Taskmaster birthday where I got to be Greg Davies and be the host. Yeah.

Dar 22:33

I I roped in all of my siblings. Siblings and my nephews were competitors.

Chris 22:37

It was amazing.

Dar 22:38

It was really fun. It was a lot of work, but it was worth it. It was really fun.

Chris 22:42

And and we're also gamers, but not you know, we're not playing the latest stuff. We really are playing old school, playing old NES.

Dar 22:49

Yeah.

Chris 22:49

One in particular that you introduced me to, because I

Dar 22:52

Doctor Mario, it's my it's my jam. I love it.

Chris 22:54

We play it every night.

Dar 22:55

Yeah.

Chris 22:55

We have a trophy. It is serious business in our house.

Dar 22:58

We we work for Scrabble tiles that I I burned our initials, our names in, and we, you know, we keep adding those Scrabble tiles and we put money in the pot. And it's it's a serious thing because the Reed boys are super competitive. Um I I'm just happy to have a fun time.

Chris 23:13

So you are the better player. And I she lets me play you know with a lower level, so I really do play with a handicap.

Dar 23:19

That's okay. You can do that in this game.

Chris 23:21

So basically, if it was golf, you know, Dar is the men's tees, I'm playing the woman's tees.

Chris and Dar 23:25

It's all right, it's all good. It's all good. But we try to keep it light and we'll either listen to a podcast or music. You know, music, yeah, music. We'll just kind of alternate back and forth. But yeah, we have a lot of fun together. And that's where we say we are best friends. We just love spending time.

Chris 23:39

And in our house, the terms nerd and geek, they're they're affectionate.

Dar 23:43

Oh, term of yeah, love them for sure. Yep.

Chris 23:45

Yeah, so you know, look so we talk about Stranger Things, sure.

Strange Things

Dar 23:49

Yeah, so this next segment I'm calling it Strange Things, so not to be confused with Stranger Things, which we love, of course. But no, in this particular segment, I want to compare the things that when we first met, we thought were strange Utah compared to Los Angeles.

Chris 24:05

Oh, and and boy, you talk about it's funny because you know you think you're going to different countries, there's such a different culture.

Dar 24:11

From state to state, and city to city to city. So I want you to go first. What were your things that you're like, this is really weird?

Chris 24:15

First thing, fry sauce. You know, w e're eating and you know, we're having fries.

Dar 24:22

Yeah.

Chris 24:23

And you're asking me if I want fry sauce. And my first thought is, uh, I don't need to put ketchup on my fries.

Dar 24:28

Yeah.

Chris 24:28

Fry sauce is not ketchup.

Dar 24:30

It's not, it is ketchup with mayo mixed together. Sometimes some people put mustard in there too, but it's mainly mayo mixed with ketchup. But my jam right now is campfire sauce, which is fry sauce plus barbecue sauce mixed together. And we usually get that at Red Robin's. Yeah. Um , so I don't know ...

Chris 24:50

We don't eat as much. I mean, because I mean, we've had weight loss surgery.

Dar 24:54

Yeah.

Chris and Dar 24:54

Um, and so we don't eat out as much, I've lost 120 pounds, you've lost like 75.

Dar 24:59

Right.

Chris and Dar 24:59

So I mean, we we now like split one burger dish, we cut the burger in half, and that makes us both full and those bottomless fries, they don't, they're not, I mean, we're a cheap date. Yeah, I mean, no buffet is worthless for us because we're only gonna get one plate. There's no point.

Dar 25:14

Um so we I order the garlic parmesan fries, which are nice steak fries, big, big uh chips, they'd call them in in the UK. Um, but yeah, you mix that with the campfire sauce. Mmm. But it's uh it originated in Arctic Circle. Arctic Circle, and but you can get it at Dairy Queen or, you know, fry sauce is a thing. And you can get bottles of fry sauce in the grocery store.

Chris 25:36

They are religious about that in Utah. I mean, like, besides LDS, the official religion of Utah is definitely fry sauce.

Dar 25:44

Stop! No, it's you're you're missing lime green jello with cottage cheese and crushed pineapple and walnuts.

Chris 25:50

I haven't been sold on fry sauce. I don't believe in putting anything on fries, but

Dar 25:53

Well, some fries don't need it.

Chris and Dar 25:54

Like McDonald's fries, they're delicious.

Chris 25:56

But but I'm definitely on lime green jello with cottage cheese.

Dar 25:59

That is good. I love it.

Chris 26:01

Another weird thing.

Dar 26:02

Yes.

Chris 26:02

Um, fireworks.

Chris and Dar 26:05

Well, in the market. In the market, yeah.

Chris 26:08

But I can't get wine in the market.

Chris and Dar 26:10

That's true. Um you can go to the checkout counter where there's, you know, magazines and candy bars, and you can get especially around July 4th fireworks that will shoot in the sky. Yeah. Like the Yeah. You know.

Dar 26:23

But don't buy wine with dinner in the grocery store. There's no alcohol like that. You have to go to the state liquor store.

Chris 26:29

So weird things like that. So what was so that's a culture shock coming from LA to um Utah.

Dar 26:35

Utah.

Chris 26:35

What about when I take you to Los Angeles?

Dar 26:36

For me, it's like it's the reverse. It's like seeing billboards for wine and for like cigarettes or whatever. It's just like that doesn't happen in Utah. I mean, I realize it does exist in other places that that Utah's the anomaly. Um, but for me, probably the first thing that was a little shocking to me was uh when we're driving down, you know, uh a freeway and we're heading into the middle of Los Angeles and there's a huge plane that is it feels too close to the road. It feels too big, it feels too close. And it's not that I've not seen airports or planes, of course I have. Because I mean, I mean, I it's just usually the airports are further out. So I'd be like, uh, Chris, there's is that okay? Like that's it's not crashing, is it? And you're like, Dar, it's the airport, right there.

Chris 27:26

I grew up under the flight pattern of Burbank airport. So I mean it was a it was a so you know, and it was an easy way to provide comfort, but still, but but speaking of highways, yeah, you still get annoyed by when I say the 15.

Dar 27:39

Right, because I get that's what they how you say it in LA, but like the 405 or whatever, but in Utah we usually say I, like interstate, I-15. Yeah, it's it's just a slight difference.

Chris and Dar 27:51

The freeway it's the 15. We don't have a whole lot. Well, I would take the 405. Sometimes we get to the 118. If I was going north, but really you're going south. I might take the you sound like the SNL Californians, like that little skit.

Chris 28:07

Yeah, I'm from the Val.

Dar 28:08

You are the Val. Okay. You wanna go, like, the Galleria?

Chris 28:12

But here's the thing. It's funny because it's I I I I know like the crowds of LA are uh I mean, you you cannot drive in LA.

Dar 28:22

No. I I want you to drive in LA, I want you to drive in Las Vegas, I think I'm the better driver in Utah, and I know the the rules. I'm a much better driver um in Utah, but I don't want to drive in and I and I don't have the patience to face the crowds and how long it takes to drive from one side of the valley to the other, I just don't have the patience because in St. George it takes like 20 minutes to get wherever you're going, right?

Chris 28:48

So it's and and I mean when I I used to work like five minutes as the crow flies from the office in LA. Uh it's actually in Torrance, Marina Del Rey. And it was some there were times it took me an hour to get to work. Not walking, driving.

Dar 29:05

I don't have that patience. I just wouldn't do it. So that those are just the slight differences, right?

Chris 29:10

That we've learned that are you know but ultimately, if you're best friends and you can talk to each other, life is grand, isn't it?

Dar 29:18

Yeah, life is grand.

Chris 29:19

So we'll try to do one more segment, I think, uh, in a little bit.

Dar 29:23

A couple more, maybe.

Chris 29:24

Yeah. Um, so we'll be back with uh a little bit more.

My Two Cents

Chris 29:27

Chris and Dar 29:28

Welcome back. Uh for our last segment, I want to read a letter that was written to an advice columnist of the past. And I think we should do our best to provide a suggestion. Again, we're not therapists. We I mean therapy's awesome. We love therapy, but we, you know, we're just this is an informal suggestion.

Chris 29:48

These are just our opinions. Please don't wager on what we're gonna say here. It's very important. Um, so what are we calling this?

Dar 29:54

So this is from Reflecting. He's signed it.

Chris 29:56

Yeah, what are we calling this segment.

Chris and Dar 29:57

Oh, the segment, uh, My Two Cents. We're calling the segment My Two Cents. There you go. Yeah.

Chris 30:01

Dar has this letter from yesteryear and we're gonna try to give our advice and our thoughts.

Dar 30:07

Yeah, and think what you would say at home, maybe.

Chris 30:09

Exactly.

Dar 30:10

I'm looking for some guidance as I navigate a situation that's left me feeling confused. I'm 40 and my girlfriend is a few years younger. We've been dating for about a year and recently moved in together. Overall, our relationship is strong and healthy. We communicate well, we're aligned in our life goals, and we both want a family. By all practical measures, everything seems to be moving in the right direction. Recently, I started talking to my family about proposing to her five or six months from now. What surprised me was my emotional reaction. Instead of feeling excited or joyful, I felt a sense of worry and unease. It wasn't panic exactly, but it also wasn't happiness. When I tried to understand where that feeling was coming from, I couldn't pinpoint a clear reason. When I asked my family for input or perspective, the response was mostly do what you want, I guess, which left me feeling even more alone in sorting this out. I cared deeply about her and our future, which makes me wonder whether these feelings stem from my stage in life, a fear of change or responsibility, or a sign that I should slow down and reflect more before taking the next step. How do I distinguish between natural apprehension and a deeper hesitation that shouldn't be ignored? And how much excitement is, quote, enough when making a decision as big as marriage? Any perspective would be greatly appreciated. I care deeply about my girlfriend and truly see a future with her, and that's exactly why this unexpected lack of excitement has caused me to pause and reflect reflecting. So what are your thoughts?

Chris 31:48

I think first off, it comes down to you have to decide it's it's tough in families, especially when you're close in families, and you really value the opinions of those around you. I get that. Um and your friends, but ultimately it has to be what's right for you. Uh and once again, I'm I'm gonna be a broken record on this, but ask yourself, are they your best friend? And I one thing I I picked up in here, um, that could be a red flag, at least to me, is that why can't you just talk to her about this? Um I can I can talk to you. I mean, if you can't talk to the other person about this, you know, there's something that's giving, I guess, trepidation.

Dar 32:35

Well, and that's to me, like if there's hesitation, that generally doubt means don't. At least not yet. That doesn't mean never.

Chris 32:42

Right.

Dar 32:43

It just means right now is probably not the right time, or maybe you don't have the full picture yet, maybe you just need to give yourself a little more time. Um, maybe something else is going on and you're subconsciously picking up on it. Um, but I feel like do you know that movie? Um gosh, what was it? Family Stone. Family Stone. Because we watched it.

Chris 33:02

I didn't see it until like maybe a couple months ago.

Dar 33:05

It reminds me of Everett and Meredith, like the the characters where it's like they came home.

Chris 33:10

Dermot Mulroney, I think, played Everett. Um, Sarah Jessica Parker.

Dar 33:13

Yeah, yeah.

Chris 33:13

of Sex and the City played Meredith.

Dar 33:15

Yeah, I think it was 2005 Christmas, something like that. Um, but it was like on paper, it made sense. He brought her home to ask his mom for an engagement ring. Like it was a on paper, it made sense. And their goals were aligned. And then you realize over time, oh, maybe there's somebody else that's a better fit for each of them for different reasons. And so I think, yeah, doubt means don't. And and and that doesn't mean never, and that doesn't mean they're a horrible person. It doesn't mean any of that. Um, but by the same token, if you decide that what you need is financial responsibility or protection, or if it's you have to decide what's best for you as a couple. And I don't think it's fair to judge anyone else by your standards. So, like we've learned in therapy that there's no cookie-cutter marriage. There's not that whatever you negotiate as a couple, like, hey, I feel this way, can you meet my needs? Can I meet your needs? As long as you're on the same page, maybe they need to get married because it's about goals. Maybe they have a common um understanding. So I don't want to pass judgment on anyone else's marriage, but I do feel like they do need to talk and they need to be on the same page.

Chris and Dar 34:29

There are certain things. So I mean it's funny because a friend of ours just got out of a long-term relationship. Um and we're I was talking to her the other day, and she said basically, well, I'm gonna have to find somebody else. And I said, No, they need to find you. You need to be comfortable in yourself. Um if if you're not comfortable enough in your own judgment in a situation like that, and you're also not comfortable to talk to the other person about, you know, something to work on. And uh it's funny because while you were reading the letter, Lottie, and she still is looking at the letter, I think she wants to say something about it. Do you want to say anything about it? She's very wise. Yeah?

Dar 35:08

No, she just wants to relax.

Chris 35:09

Just want to relax. Yeah, I'm just gonna we gotta cut your nails. Um so yeah, that I mean, it's funny because that's uh, you know, it's I think for young people, and this was in my first marriage. People were first like, you know, you're first dating. Oh, when are you gonna get married? When are you gonna get married? Okay, you're married. When are you gonna have kids? I have two great kids. After the first kid, when are you gonna have a second kid?

Dar 35:30

There's outside expectations. There's so much outside expectation.

Chris and Dar 35:33

It's it's hard, especially when you're younger. The the experiences come with maturity. Maturity um is the ability to to know that you have to make your own calls and that there is no timetable. Yeah. Um, whether it's short or long, whether it's it just it's about here, it's about your heart. Um well, and sometimes that feedback is really helpful, sure. Especially if people know you really well. But then sometimes looking for outside validation, you kind of know it's wrong already, and you're just kind of looking for you know what I mean. So I I just think it just I would the advice that I would give Reflecting is don't do it yet. Wait, wait a little while. Don't do it yet.

Chris 36:20

And and if you if you never get to that place, you're gonna be able to do it.

Dar 36:22

That's okay.

Chris 36:23

Move on.

Dar 36:24

It doesn't mean and I feel like we meet people in our life, sometimes it's lifelong friendships. And sometimes it's just you know what, there was a goal that you both accomplished and now you can move on.

Chris 36:36

And sometimes you're lucky and you get both.

Dar 36:38

Yeah.

Chris 36:39

Um, and actually, I think that's that's the secret. If you can have both your best friend and the person you love, um, your partner, yeah, um, then it all comes together. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So that's I feel like we need to wrap things up.

Dar 36:55

Yeah, that's about it. That's all from us. And so we just wanted to thank you for tuning into our first episode. Lottie's ready to go.

Chris 37:02

Yeah.

Dar 37:02

We'd like to hear how you met your partner. Uh, tell us your love story in a nutshell. Um, you might be able to share some strange things that you've noticed about where you grew up or where you live now. Uh, we do have a phone line where you can leave a voicemail message. Call 435-990-5824 to leave a message, or you can email us fromlalatoutah@ gmail.com.

Chris and Dar 37:25

That's 435-990-5824 today. Gen X, you know that reference. Um in future episodes, we're gonna we're gonna speaking of Gen X, we're gonna provide a lot of tribute to Gen X. Yes. Um, we're gonna talk about getting married and we're gonna talk about my divorce.

Dar 37:44

Sure. Yeah. Um and also growing up in Utah versus California in the 70s and 80s, what what was similar, what was different, right?

Chris 37:53

The movies and music that have influenced us, um the toys and games we loved as kids. Yeah, totally um commercials we remember. Well, just like the Empire commercial.

Dar 38:03

Well, and even what we're watching now, like things we're enjoying now. We're we're kind of that couple that's like, hey, have you tried this new um restaurant or have you seen this new show? We're kind of those people, so we want to share, we get excited and we want to share those things.

Chris and Dar 38:16

Exactly. And I I don't I don't we're not really gonna presume that we are experts or whatever, or that you know, but we're just we we like to I hope that we can talk to you and as as friends, basically, and and help help give a good start to your week is a big thing and boy we need that in these times. That's the thing. I feel like we're ... whether young or old.... We're carrying a lot of heavy things in the world. Um and I think we just want to put a smile on people's face, tell you you're not alone. Um, so these topics and much more will will be coming soon. Absolutely.

Chris 38:48

So member, you can reach us calling 435-990-5824. Um that is not a 976 line. So nothing like that. And it's free of charge unless you're you know paying long distance with MCI.